Dear DM,
I am getting annoyed with my Personal Trainer. I am not too worried about him trying to make a personal profit or anything, but I really think that he wants to see me “beef up” into a female body builder…and I have to get him off that idea. He talks about muscles, and protein and training hard all the time. Doesn’t he get it? I’m just a woman - I don’t want to get big, I just want to tone up!
I work out at Celebrity Fitness at Subang Parade. Any ideas on how I should tell him? He’s such a darling and I don’t want to offend him.. but.. I don’t think it’s getting into his head. This is a funny question, I know.. but I just thought that you could help.
bodygirl77
Dear bodygirl77,
You’re not the only one, especially among women, to be afraid of growing muscle! Firstly you must understand that there is no such thing as “toning up”. You gain muscle, and lose bodyfat so that your muscle shows more, and you then have a lean, athletic looking body. So, when you ‘tone up’.. you’re actually revealing muscle tissue by losing bodyfat. That’s what is happening when people say they have ‘toned up’. Problem is.. most people don’t realise it. And to grow muscle and lose bodyfat, the same principles apply regardless if you’re male, or female.
Increasing your protein consumption will not make you look like a female bodybuilder. The women whom you find ‘not so ladylike’, and look like muscular men usually train intensely under the supervision of professional competition trainers, eat a personalised bulking diet (sometimes consisting of at least 3000-4000 calories daily) and usually - they take steriods in order to raise the levels of male hormones in their bodies. It’s the only way they can achieve that look.
So in short, unless you are planning on consuming a whole truckload of extra calories and injecting yourself with anabolic steroids, or perhaps if you’re one of those naturally manly, hairy females (which I’m sure you are probably not, they are rare) dont EVER be afraid of muscle. Muscle tissue is your greatest ally in the battle of physical fitness.
You see, muscle is an active tissue, meaning it requires calories simply just to stay on your body. Every pound of muscle tissue can require an extra 25-50 calories a day. What that means, is say, for example, you gain 10lbs of muscle, you are now burning an extra 250-500 calories daily. If you are dieting - that means that you are losing that much fat just from having that muscle on your body.
With all that being said, if you consume enough protein through your daily diet (enough means about 1gm per pound of lean bodyweight), then you dont really need to consider supplementing with additional protein. If your diet lacks protein, and you cannot make it up with food for whatever reason, then go ahead and buy the protein. But just so you know, supplements are always inferior to good food and good training. The problem is.. it can be difficult to meet your daily protein needs with food alone.
So, don’t be afraid of what your Personal Trainer is doing. Perhaps he should have taken the time to explain what I have just mentioned to you that’s all. .. oh well - thats what I’m here for anyway. ;)
Your friend and coach,
DM
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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }
Bodygirl77,
I do yoga everyday, weight train 3 times a week and run 5 km on the treadmill on days that I don’t do weights. Trust me, since we are only blessed with 1 / 32 testosterone from men; even with my routine and my 2 cans of tuna for lunch everyday, it’s hard to bulk up and pretty impossible to end up looking like a female bodybuilder sans steroids.
So don’t be afraid of consuming more protein and of the weights. Listen to DM, watch your diet, know your goal, know what you’re doing and there’s no short cut to healthier looking body.
Good luck!
2 cans of tuna everyday????? Geez ! I took tuna sandwiches for 2 weeks for tea and now I am really really sick of it. Really admire you guys with the discpline. Haha….
I am now trying the BSN protein supplements. Taste really yummy. Been taking it for about 1 week now. And with 3-5 body pumps a week, I even feel that gaining muscle mass is indeed quite difficult. Not that I wanna look like a body builder, I just wanna have a toned arms, legs, butts and abs. Hehe…
Oh well, as long as I know I am fit, and strong….I guess that is enough.
Dont know whether im at the right place to comment but anyways since DM knows im disturbed… what the heck.
Yeah ‘tonned’ is such a misused description these days. Id be freaked out too if i see girls out there more muscular than yours truly…ahem-ahem (pardon the modesty).
Heres an ez pz way of lookin at things…
Our body mass is super generally made of muscle, water and fats (Lets just keep our water at a constant high since we’re not lookin for that shredded dry look on women).
So its a balancing act between muscle and fat now isn’t it?
You might be underweight but you’re still a tad squishy here and there. What’s wrong with that picture?
SIMPLE. Parts of your body that you cant seem to tense up when youre contracting or extending it (or simply said as flexing) simply contains no muscle mass. If it aint muscle… what is it? Water? Go for a sauna, a body wrap or even squeeze your bladder dry… could you feel that particular bodypart tense up upon flexing even after doing any one or even all three of the mentioned activities? So as most girls tend to ‘Duh’ me… here’s one back at ya. Duhhhh….?!?
Heres the opposite side of the story (one which i like to tell all my wannabe Kate Moss’). As waif or wafer thin you are, when you decide to ‘tone’ up you will be skin and bones if you do not eat properly, as psharlene mentioned BSN’s Lean Dessert Protein, throughout the day as to replace (not miracleously transform) the mass kown as fat into the mass now known as muscle. So eat ladies!
Honestly speaking, which guys like skin and bones on their women? I like my women fit and strong too… but not too strong though ;)
Hey!! it’s a lot of work just to get Madonna’s arm.
yoga instructor >> how do u do it (the two cans of tuna everyday)?
i thinks jennifer aniston has the prettiest arms..not so muscular but just nice…
The Yoga Instructor: Actually, I just realised that you are LIVING PROOF of what I’m trying to explain in this writeup. I’ve seen your pics, I know what you eat, I know how you train, and I know what you’ve achieved - and I admire your willpower and dedication in what you do. You go girl.
psharlene: Yeah.. Yoga Babe eats more fish (tuna) than all your cats combined. Glad you like the protein shake - BSN’s range does taste amazing indeed. By the way.. i think your butt looks fine. I’m just eager to see what you look like in one of the teeny-weenie dailymuscle.com bra tops I plan to come up with… *grin*
Jay: Getting women not to be afraid of weights and food is gonna be incredibly tough I tell you.. but slowly.. we’ll get there. I already know many have realised that starvation is not the key to fat loss and that weights + cardio + a protein packed diet is what we need to go for. There’s this girl at Fitness First Consplant (Subang).. she’s cute.. and is always working incredibly hard to shed that last bit of fat around her waist to reveal her abs.. She already looks pretty toned.. but I know what she’s after - but at the same time, Im also pretty sure she’s not seeing results.. cos she’s been looking the same for some time now. I think I’ll go speak to her one of these days.. aihh.. .but shy lar. Ha ha.
doglover: Thats the spirit.. aim for the sky!
mooke: That woman can eat anything if you tell her its good for her. Heh heh. Jennifer Aniston is incredibly cute.. you gotta excuse me for not noticing her arms.
Thanks for your comments people.
mooke & psharlene:
I have to take them with tabasco and lots of chili padi to kill the ikan taste. Just munch them slowly with water (to be more sick, down them with milk, like me ;) ) as you read or watch TV. I don’t work office hour so I get to do it watching my favorite DVD. Good luck!
Whoaa, our comments uploaded at the same time! How cute :P
Yeah, it was of DM’s suggestion that I started my tuna and milk regime and out of parsimonous to fork up money for BSN products (sorry Jay, but my birthday is coming up. Free tubs welcome :) !) and I think it’d look and be more natural tuna and milky way (laterally).
For girls especially, I think it’s still best to go moderate on eating and learn to know your body type and study your calorie intake. Either you eat less or work out more to lose weight but in my case (experienced and proved successful, according to DM) to gain weight; consume more protein, cut empty calorie (beer, rice, coke), alternate weights PLUS cardio and at the end of the day, I balance it all with locking my physical strength (I’d like to think I’m strong enough for my own body) with my wisdom AND trying to find the perfect balance of looking good from the outside and feeling good on the inside, with yoga.
Reward yourself with not forgetting to have fun by showing off your hard-eaned bikini ready bod on holidays and eating all you want on weekends / festive occasions.
Eh woman… why are you stalking my blog at this ungodly hour! Cute? Creepy more like it.
Its always encouraging for everyone when someone tries something out - and it works! Now how awesome is that? It not only motivates you, but it also motivates ME (yes.. DM needs to be motivated every now and then too you know..).. and motivates everyone who reads your story. So to all those who have seen positive results (not only as a result of what I’ve recommended) but maybe something you’ve tried on your own.. I’d like to encourage you to share your experience - or maybe even write to me, and I’d be glad to post it up as an article on its own - for the benefit of EVERYONE.
By the way, The Yoga Instructor.. since I helped you achieve some results.. don’t you think you owe me a drink!
DM : I see the age old comment has creeped up again . Thx for elaborating on this, shall forward this to all the girls n ladies i know.
DM, my cats dun eat fish, they only eat dry cat food. So even I eat more tuna than all my cats and dog combined… Hehe…
Oh yeah, I am still waiting for the wonder bra, opppss… i mean teeny-weenie dailymuscle.com bra. When will it be out? Certain people at the gym is waiting to wear it! Not me! I wont fit into any teeny-weenie outfits, unfortunately :(
I hv been working out in FF for 4 yrs already. I am not afraid of muscle, i know we can’t bulk up like men. I do free weights/body pump abt 3x a week. i do cardio for abt 1 to 2 hrs, per day, mon to sat eg, rpm, body jam, combat, step or attack, sun rest day, unless i run outside. When i am trainig for a long run, like recently i ran the putrajaya half marathon,i clock abt 20km mileage running outside and try to sneak in half hr interval trainig on the treadmill for speed in between classes,per week. I will reduce my gym classes to accomodate the runs, but in all, i have been working out for 10 to 15hrs per week consistently.
I eat very heavily for bfast, eg a mixed rice with lots of met and veg and quite a lot of rice too for energy, and i taper down as the day goes to night. I have never dieted and i reward my self by eating whatever during weekends.
I think i look strong and can see the muscle definition which i like, altho the abs coud be better, hehehe, and iam still a girly girl
sunshine, yoga instructor, and women out there who works their guts out(i have seen a few at my gym at TF) I salute you. Coz… baby u look sooooooooo fine! and I dun mean that in a kinky way. No seriously I dun!
I think we’re speaking a different lingo here. Many women I train think “bulking up” means getting muscle definition on a larger body frame which still has some fat to burn. They all know they’re not going to look like Arnold Schw! But their ideal body type is not on those Nike posters but rather the super slender babes on MTV which they watch while running the threadmill. So yes, ladies, you will “bulk up” if you just do weights, that’s why cardio is so important. As for the MTV model body type, not everyone is tall with a small frame, so not everyone can achieve that look!
Jonz: Thanks.
sunshine: Hey.. love your nick. And yeah.. I think you’ve got the right approach and mindset. And you see the results for yourself. Now.. if only I can convince everyone else.. sigh..
steveneleven: You pervert you… raising your heart rate via excitement by looking at women doesnt count as cardio.
HotBod: I believe that most women think they’re gonna grow big freaky muscles if they weight train. You’d be surprised… and its this very mindset that keeps them away from the weights ultimately depriving them for getting the most out of their time at the gym. Cardio is ultimately what matters… but you need combine it with weight training to see some REAL physique altering results… otherwise, you’ll just end up looking like a smaller version of what you are now. We dont want smaller.. we want BETTER.
Thks, DM, been reading yr blog for a long, long time,…it is motivating and informative…keep it up! And thks steveneleven,u made my day, wink!!
When, i started weights 4 yrs back, yes the first few mths, i looked bloated, my body had fat n muscles tog. People were commenting that i was looking bigger. But i persisted coz it felt good and i could feel my body firming up. As time goes,combined with lots of cardio, the fat melts away(!!,still got a bit la, room for further improvement), and whats left is nicely toned.
Oh yes, i so agree, only cardio reduces one to a smaller version of the same out-of-shape-self. The butt still sags , the underarm still waves at u and the tummy still protrudes and the legs still have the ghastly cellulite… ;)
I do fairly heavy weights and medium reps, sometimes i shock the body with heavy weights, max 8 reps, for fun la. Combined with cardio, i can see the shoulder muscles coming out and the bis and tris too, esp when i am workeg upper body, and it gives me such a kick! Hehehe
I am not too obssessed with fast results, it is slow and gradual, but to me thats the way to go as i see it as a long term investment. i dont want to overtrain and be put off gym totally!
Dont worry so much, bodygirl, you will get there!
sunshine: Ahh.. you’re one of my more silent readers I guess. Im glad you’ve got everything right… you know how you train, and you know the results that comes from it. And hey.. you know your stuff!! I’m impressed.
I love how people think it’s so easy to put on muscle…
I WISH IT WERE SO EASY! I REALLY DO!
It’s not. I don’t think bodygirl77 is in any danger of turning into the next Ms Olympia anytime soon :)
Hi all,
I’m beginning to love this site. Like most of other women, bodygirl77 have the idea of growing big when doing weight training. I had been training for the past 5 years. A real intense workout…my goal is to have a nice big tone muscle. . Unfortunately…as I am still a LADY…I didnt see my muscle growing like men. So…be not afraid of growing big ladies…coz u just dont have enough male hormon to do so.
The next time you say…u dont wanna be bulky and big…think again!!! Coz only if you eat like the pro bodybuilder plus steroid…then only you become big and bulky…
Plus, most men turns on by the sight of tone mucsle in a women…trust me…Have fun….
none: Yeah.. if only they knew how difficult it is.. perhaps people would appreciate and love the sport of bodybuilding much much more.
fairy: Hi again.. and YES.. you BETTER love this site… cos its the best when it comes to real-life experience on fitness/health issues here in Malaysia. And believe me.. this is only the tip of the iceberg of the things to come. Thanks for your comments.. I can see that you know your stuff. Would love to see more of your comments here on the site.. tcare now.
wah..not so easy to put on muscle and look like susunegar la…
not without steroids anyway.
No way a woman could be muscularly ugly. Those MTVs chics are not as nice as those that looked like Yoga Inst…serious…you have to see her to believe!
Dr DM,
I’ve been obsessed about having thin, toned arms - exactly like Jennnifer Aniston’s for ages now. I first tried weights (in balance with cardio), but gave up after really unsatisfying results. Then I cut out all fat from my diet and subsequently lost a lot of weight. Yet, my arms never changed, and when they are straight by my sides the wobbly underarm squashes out so that my arm looks flabby and big. PLEASE can you advise me on a routine that will eventually give me arms like Jen’s. Whenever I think about my arms it gets me down, and I really can’t afford to lose anymore weight. Thanks.
biceps:
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Biceps/BBCurl.html
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Biceps/DBInclineCurl.html
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Biceps/LVCurl.html
triceps:
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Triceps/BBLyingTriExtSC.html
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Triceps/DBKickback.html
http://www.exrx.net/WeightExercises/Triceps/DBTriExt.html
these are e few i do. n it bloody works. quality over quantity. i think DM has better knowledge abt this. :P good luck.
barmy try circuit training
google it
DM u mind to write a full complete workout program of circuit training
i am too lazy to do it :S
stupid college work been keeping me busy
I am 27 and have always been able to put on muscle (i don’t want!) far too easily. I exercise regularly but have to be very careful not to eat or I build muscle, which I don;t want!
I am a runner, natuarally a sprinter. For years I have yo yo dieted. I would over eat, over exercise and pack on muscle and weight. I was a size 16 but my legs were huge solid rocks. From the age of 15 to 22 I weighed between 11-13 stone. I’m 5ft 4. I had a car crash 5 yrs ago and was immobile for 2 years and lost the muscle!! Yee ha!! thin legs I’ve never experienced!
I’m now about 9 1/2 stone but getting heavier. Over the past 6 months I’ve been building up running to 4 miles every other day. I was doing well not building extra muscle and keeping weight off. Carbs in morning and cutting back afternoon,mainly protein.
Suddenly in the past few weeks I’ve been gaining more muscle - everywhere. I’m doing my best to keep my calorie intake down, I still have low boy fat. I noticed my thighs were developing more muscle and getting bigger. All my trousers and jeans are getting too tight on my thighs. All this exercise for chunky thighs!! no!!
For the past 2 wks I’ve tried cross training for a change instead of running and added light weights to my work out. My arms are noticebly bigger and seriously toned in the bigger way I’m not wanting. Today others have commented I’m getting bigger all over and friends have been trying to help by suggesting I try changing my diet. Please help!! Most days I eat a bowl of muesli am, during day banana, nuts and dried fruit, evening tuna, salad, veg and a small sweet potatoe. I also drink lots of coffee with 2 sugars - did before though. Should I try cutting protein. I’m trying not to eat much incase I gain even more muscle, then my clothes won’t fit at all.
I’ve always been prone to gaining muscle easily and I suppose I’m meant to be natuaraly stocky but I’m fighting it! Can anyone help?
My apologies to all! In the first paragraph above I’ve put ‘I have to be careful not to eat’!!! I meant to write that I have to be careful what I eat and not to over eat, (which I have had a tendency to do as I love eating!) or I pack on muscle fast. Sorry to everyone, I love food too much not to eat ! sod starving!
Some of us like women with some muscle on them .I am a sucker for a female with a good bicep.
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